1:10 PMSorry for being out sick yesterday, gang. The Morning Roast was very NCAA tourney-heavy on Sunday, obviously, but we’ll be filling in for Bomani Jones on #TheRightTime on Thursday and Friday, so be sure to check that out.

More often than not, Big Brother is watching. According to a new report from The Guardian, back when people were taking to the streets to protest the death of Eric Garner, the New York Police Department was doing everything it could to stop what seemed like otherwise legal demonstrations. That includes infiltrating small groups of #BlackLivesMatter activists. Meanwhile, President Donald Trump’s administration is still pushing “extreme vetting,” trying to take the measures even further (like asking for social media passwords), including for nations we consider allies.

My phone is my alarm clock. It also happens to be my lifeline to everything else, but one thing I certainly do is sleep with it close to me. But for one man in Alabama, that habit nearly killed him. He received a severe electric shock after a necklace he was wearing in bed came into contact with a frayed charger wire. We all know those can be awful when they don’t help your phone juice up, but, yeah, they can also be really harmful. Thankfully for Apple, he’s alive, but the story of just how he managed to save himself is pretty impressive.

How do black people communicate? Obviously in a variety of different ways, but others always seem to want to know, as if it’s a secret. The usual spheres — salon, barbershop, church, school — have become a very dated way of looking at things now that the internet is basically the globe’s communicative currency holder. And you know black people use social media as much as any group of people in America, which shouldn’t surprise you. When your voices have been quelled for so long, you find a way. Roy Wood Jr. breaks down Black Twitter on Trevor Noah’s show.

Alabama fans stay butthurt. Deshaun Watson torched the school’s oh-so-vaunted defense to win Clemson a national championship this year, but no one in Tuscaloosa, Alabama, is getting over it anytime soon. Last week, he was legitimately asked to leave an establishment in the college town, where he was dining with his girlfriend. Former Crimson Tide player Ryan Anderson was there, too, which just makes this whole thing a lot more childish. What he was doing eating in such a public place in that town, I don’t know, but still a very wack situation.

Free Food

Coffee Break: James Corden does everything better when he’s not in a studio. Watching the comedian serve as Golden State Warriors point guard Stephen Curry’s life coach is about as funny as it gets. Also, watching Steph sing Disney songs will make your day better.

Snack Time: Whatever you do, do not taunt a chimp at a zoo. You just might end up with its poop on your face, and not because you fell in the cage. Gross.

Dessert: Pitbull is still doing it, man. Might be time for him to run for office.