Blackness, depression and masculinity
Kid Cudi faces his demons in a brutally honest Facebook post
“I am happy, that’s just the saddest lie.”
That’s the closing lyric on the last verse of Kid Cudi’s Soundtrack 2 My Life, a not-so-deep cut on his debut studio album Man on the Moon: The End of Day, released in 2009. Coming off the fame of Day ‘n’ Nite, an introspective jam that caught fire, Soundtrack 2 My Life was a far more explicit look at the inner workings of a man whose mind has been dealing with mental health issues for most of his life.
So, when the rapper née Scott Mescudi took to Facebook to write an impassioned note to fans about his battles with depression and suicidal thoughts, which sparked the hashtag #YouGoodMan, I was not surprised. Partially because the last few weeks, he’d gone on a couple destructive rants and was seemingly losing grip. But mainly it was because of those aforementioned lyrics. I know, because they spoke to me then, and they still do.
As someone who’s battled social anxiety disorder, depression and the not infrequent suicidal tendency, the thought of shutting everything down and admitting to the world that you don’t know how to make yourself happy is an incredibly daunting task. As black boys, we are raised to believe that only our inner fortitude is what will carry us through difficult periods, just like it did our forefathers when the system was intentionally rigged to break our spirit.
When you become what the world believes of you as to be a man, your entire psychological and physical preoccupation becomes about proving your worth to your peers. In short, there’s no time to be worrying about mental health unless you legit can’t function in society anymore. The thought of sharing your feelings with someone you’re paying to listen to you becomes embarrassing and frustrating. People tell you to “get help,” and it doesn’t work because you don’t want to feel “crazy.” You ruin relationships with people based on your own ability to believe that they recognize your self-worth. You dive into your job, hoping it serves as a distraction. You lash out at people, friends and family because you’re too afraid to face your own reality.
At times, it becomes difficult to understand why it’s worth even trying anymore.
This week is Mental Illness Awareness Week in the United States, established by Congress in 1990. Cudi, by speaking out on his own life, is advancing the cause of the National Alliance on Mental Illness, which pushed for recognition of the week, and according to its website is “dedicated to building better lives for the millions of Americans affected by mental illness.”
For Cudi, it was the death of his father. For me, I never got over my parents divorce, as a child. For the millions of other black folks walking around out there with their own issues, it could be any number of things. It’s hard to admit that you’re damaged, broken or sick.
“I am not at peace. I haven’t been since you’ve known me. If I didn’t come here, I would’ve done something to myself,” Cudi wrote. “I simply am a damaged human, swimming in a pool of emotions everyday of my life. There’s a ragin’ violent storm inside of my heart at all times. Idk what peace feels like. Idk how to relax.”
If you can’t relate to that feeling, I guarantee you know someone who does.
Daily Dose: 10/5/16
Tim Kaine clearly does not like Mike Pence at all
3:00 PMAnother podcast episode in the books, kiddos. This week we talked about Luke Cage, Kim Kardashian’s scary robbery and talked with colleague Michael Fletcher about Loretta Lynch working with the Dallas Cowboys.
Tuesday night’s vice presidential debate was like watching two dads argue passive aggressively at the community cookout. Democratic nominee Tim Kaine got flustered with Republican nominee Mike Pence’s nonsense and decided he was going to go full attack dog to make as many things stick to Donald Trump as possible. Many people found that off-putting and thus declared Pence the winner of the proceedings. However, apparently, The Donald himself wasn’t particularly pleased with the fact that his running mate did not often defend him. ABC News highlights the event’s most memorable lines.
There are still questions to be answered in Charlotte, North Carolina. After the shooting and subsequent death of Keith Lamont Scott, protestors demanded to see the full-length police video of the entire incident, in which authorities said Scott was armed at the time of his death. It’s nearly 40 minutes long. Needless to say, it’s very tough to watch. There doesn’t appear to be a gun near his body and officers keep him cuffed for nearly 10 minutes before trying to administer CPR. ABC News reports on the latest.
If you’re over 35, you know who Michael Dukakis is. He’s the guy who ruined his presidential campaign by riding around in a tank, a move that made him look silly and was used against him in ad campaigns by George H.W. Bush, who eventually beat him soundly. But the question is: Do we really know when those moments are happening in real time? Sometimes, it’s not that easy to tell. Back in August, FiveThirtyEight made a movie called How To Destroy A Candidate that is as relevant as ever right now.
If you were a conspiracy theorist, you’d say the NFL is cracking down on celebrations as a way to get back at players kneeling during the national anthem. Of course, we’re nowhere near that cynical around here, so we’ll just say that the renewed emphasis on taunting and celebration penalties is due to a crackdown on trying to keep games moving rather than a way of targeting certain players who are getting too big for their britches or whatever. ESPN’s Kevin Seifert reports that the league is going to be more clear going forward.
Coffee Break: Somehow, the BET Hip Hop Awards were Tuesday night, and I didn’t watch one second of it. The signature bit of these shows has become the cyphers which feature large ranges of rappers in their simplest form. This year, even Jidenna showed up to kick a few lines. Big K.R.I.T. had an important moment, too.
Snack Time: If you don’t think that football players talk about politics beyond whether or not they take a knee, you’re wrong. Check out this story on how Trump is tearing apart the NFL.
Dessert: No. The kids in Haiti are not causing deforestation because they are eating the trees. Stop.
All Day Podcast: 10/4/16
If you missed us last week, we’re back!
10:49 AMAfter taking a week off, the All Day Podcast crew — host Clinton Yates, staff writer Justin Tinsley and senior style writer Jill Hudson — was back in action this week to talk Kim Kardashian’s robbery, Netflix’s new Marvel series Luke Cage and U.S. Attorney General Loretta Lynch teaming up with the NFL to incite nationwide change.
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Earlier this week while at Fashion Week in Paris, Kardashian was robbed at gunpoint of nearly $9 million in jewelry. After hearing the news, her husband, rapper Kanye West, walked off the stage mid-song during a show in New York. The details surrounding the incident are frightening, though there have been many critics of Kardashian. Is it fair to poke fun at someone (even a celebrity) who faces a life-or-death situation such as Kardashian did? The crew attempts to answer this question.
The podcast continues with a breakdown of Marvel’s Luke Cage, which Netflix released last week, and a conversation about how meaningful the series is given the current climate of police relations with the nation’s African-American community. Last, Undefeated senior writer Michael Fletcher joins the podcast to talk about Lynch joining forces with the Dallas Cowboys to improve those strained relations between the police and the community.
Give it a listen, and if you have any feedback or show ideas, feel free to email us at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Daily Dose: 10/4/16
‘Debate’ is so much more fun to say when you pronounce it ‘de-bah-tay’
The ‘Thrilla in Vanilla’ might be the funniest thing I’ve ever heard. That’s what some people are calling Tuesday night’s vice presidential debate in Farmville, Virginia, between Republican Mike Pence and Democrat Tim Kaine. Why? Because both of these dudes are about as exciting as your neighbor’s dad, which is to say, not much. Considering how things went for Republican nominee Donald Trump after debate one against Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton, this could be critical from a “just don’t make it worse” standpoint. ABC News has five storylines to watch for Tuesday from Longwood University.
Speaking of Trump, he’s got a real problem with women. For example, you can’t just publicly denounce people about their behavior because of a beauty pageant, then expect people to think you have their best interests in mind. Not to mention that referring to women as dogs and pigs is inappropriate on all kinds of levels. S0, when it comes to actually trying to court votes, no one is going to forget that stuff just because of party affiliation. FiveThirtyEight’s Farai Chideya breaks down the white suburban mom vote.
Nigel Sylvester is not a household name. As a professional BMX rider from Jamaica, Queens, New York, he’s an anomaly in a sport dominated typically by white guys. He also is unorthodox, in that he doesn’t do competitions or contests. But he’s an interesting guy who is of Grenadian descent. In a new installment of VICE‘s “Autobiographies,” Sylvester goes back to Queens to see the first skate park he ever tackled and his childhood home. This is worth the watch for the cityscape views, alone.
Perhaps the most famous bat flip in Major League Baseball history belongs to Jose Bautista. When Joey Bats uncorked a three-run blast in last year’s American League Divisional Series, he uncorked a celebration for the ages. It solidified his reputation as a relatively not well-liked guy, for whatever reason. And because of the so-called codes of the game, that rep has stuck for some time. But why? If he played in South Korea, he’d be idolized for his post-swing histrionics. There, if you ain’t flipping, you ain’t trying, ESPN The Magazine’s Mina Kimes explains.
Coffee Break: One of the things that came out of President Barack Obama’s South by South Lawn event was a few celebrity sightings. For Common, who was on stage at the event as well, he got an impromptu Tiny Desk Concert out of it, too. Every thing about this video is pretty spectacular from set design to the music itself.
Snack Time: Speaking of Chicago rappers, Chance The Rapper can’t lose. Everything he touches turns out well, and you can add the new Kit Kat jingle to his recent list of accomplishments.
Dessert: R.I.P. Gloria Naylor. You should know her work. It’s a tremendous loss.
‘Race to Re-Unite’ panel with Jesse Williams and U.S. Olympian Ibtihaj Muhammad
1:55 PMLast Thursday in New York City, actor Jesse Williams and U.S. Olympian Ibtihaj Muhammad joined The Undefeated’s Kevin Merida on a panel called “Race to Re-Unite” in conjunction with Ad Week’s Town Hall series, #AWNewYork. Over the course of an hour, the three discussed the current state of activism in America as a movement, the intersection of demonstration and sports and discussed the complexities of untangling our concepts of normalcy when it comes to race, with moderator Clinton Yates.
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We’re talking to President Obama
The sit-down from Greensboro, North Carolina, is in a week
1:00 PMIt’s been a good couple weeks for President Barack Obama on the community outreach front. First, he held a star-studded affair at the White House to commemorate the opening of the National Museum of African American History and Culture. Then, he brought in many of the country’s latest minds for his South by South Lawn pop-up on Monday. Now, he’ll be sitting down to talk with ESPN’s Stan Verrett for The Undefeated’s A Conversation with The President: Sports, Race & Achievement on Oct. 11.
It airs at 10 p.m. EST (ESPN and WatchESPN) from North Carolina A&T State University in Greensboro, North Carolina, which means it promises to be lit. Why? Because the Aggies have been in the news a lot recently, unfortunately due to completely separate reasons, both good and bad.
Over the weekend, two students were killed by gunfire after a fight broke out at an off-campus party. According to reports, Alisia Dieudonne, 19, and Ahmad Campbell, 21 were not part of the melee. Details of the altercation are very sad, with social media playing a large part in how an otherwise normal situation spiraled into a fatal encounter. In addition, the situation is so bad that the university held a town hall over the matter.
People making it unsafe to wanna have fun..
R.I.P to the two fallen aggies, Ahmad Campbell & Alicia Dieudonne. 🙏🏾🐶💙💛 Prayers going☝🏾️ #NCAT
— DAIJ DADDY 🥀✨ (@DAI_MILADI) October 2, 2016
While the president is not necessarily expected to address matters of college-related gun violence, his mere presence will provide a spark to a campus that needs it. You might also recall that N.C. A&T board of trustees member Janice Bryant Howroyd was appointed by Obama to serve on his Board of Advisors on Historically Black Colleges and Universities (HBCUs) back in May. As you can see from the clip above, they ride hard for the president in Aggie land.
On a better note, the school has also been in the spotlight because of its star running back Tarik Cohen. He’s a senior with NFL aspirations, who keeps showing out every time he gets the chance. The team took down Kent State University in a surprise win over an FBS team last month. The week before Obama arrives, the Aggies take on Norfolk State University in a game televised live on ESPNU.
Perhaps most importantly, though, is that Greensboro is the home of one of the most significant protests in the history of the civil rights movement. The Greensboro sit-ins at Woolworth’s lunch counter started a wave of demonstrations that were focused on the economic impacts of segregation and used as a change agent for progress. At the site of that old lunch counter is the International Civil Rights Center & Museum. Also, police brutality issues are still as real there as anywhere else in America.
President Obama. The Undefeated. Greensboro. N.C. A&T. Enough said.
Trump hotel vandalized in Washington, D.C.
It was caught on video and Twitter is like …
5:20 PMIt’s one thing to disagree with Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump’s political views, but it’s quite another to actively vandalize a building with his name on it in broad daylight, no less. Over the weekend, video surfaced of a person tagging the front of the Old Post Office Pavilion in Washington, D.C., which is now a Trump Hotel. The end result was “No Justice, No Peace” written on the left side of the door and “Black Lives Matter” on the other. You can watch his work below.
— ManSitChoAzzDown (@AngryManTV) October 2, 2016
There are a couple things about this worth noting. Most obviously is the brazen nature of the act. It’s certainly not the dead of night, and people are walking by, watching this guy go to town with a paint can. He finishes his work and then just casually crosses Pennsylvania Avenue to roll out. Just another Saturday for my man, I guess.
Reaction has been fascinating. The person who originally uploaded the photo, a Twitter user who goes by @AngryBlkManDC, was sent the video by someone, and his mentions were promptly set on fire with people implying that he should have done something to stop said act of vandalism.
Folks are really more upset about a building being tagged with spray paint than lives being taken by rogue police.
— ManSitChoAzzDown (@AngryManTV) October 3, 2016
Also, people on social media are stupid. When there's a TMZ watermark on a video, you do mention TMZ to the Feds and demand their arrest?
— ManSitChoAzzDown (@AngryManTV) October 3, 2016
I just uploaded the video from a 'source'. Mentions in shambles. Folks @'n the Feds, Trump, DC police, etc., demanding my arrest. Idiots…
— ManSitChoAzzDown (@AngryManTV) October 3, 2016
Reached for comment afterward, @AngryBlkManDC explained, “Folks want me locked up. Calling me all kind of names. I don’t even respond. I was getting 20 mentions per minute. For like six straight hours.” The scrawls were cleaned up by the next day, but we’ll always have the video.
Daily Dose: 10/3/16
Master P was a mogul, but a horrible sports representative
1:00 PMOn Monday at the White House, President Barack Obama is holding South by South Lawn, a festival of sorts that mimics Austin, Texas’ similar function. I’ll be there, and you can check this space for updates on the proceedings.
Last week was a mess for Donald Trump. After the debate, the GOP presidential nominee completely fell apart and found himself in multiple quagmires, including and up to him appearing in a porn movie. But the other half of Trump’s ticket is on display tomorrow night in Farmville, Virginia. Mike Pence, the GOP vice presidential candidate, will likely be far less unhinged than his compatriot when he faces off against Tim Kaine. But Kaine will be on his home court, and Pence has a lot to lose. ABC News reports on how the former is preparing for Tuesday’s events.
Back when Master P was a relevant artist and music executive, he took a foray into sports. It was and felt super gimmicky at the time, but one player bought The Ice Cream Man‘s sports representation act. That person was Ricky Williams, the 1998 Heisman Trophy winner from Texas. He was a top 10 draft pick and signed this absurd deal that basically forced him to be the best producer on the field anyone had ever seen in order to be paid what he deserved. FiveThirtyEight’s Reuben Fischer-Baum analyzes the details of the worst deal in NFL history.
Life as a Kardashian isn’t easy. You’ve got endless personal appearances, weirdo stalkers and scores of paparazzi constantly trying to invade your space. It’s easy to claim that such a life isn’t that hard, but you try living a life where every time you leave your house someone is trying to take 20,000 pictures of you. Yes, is their popularity how they make money? Of course. But there are downsides to being such a public figure. VICE reports that Kim Kardashian West was robbed at gunpoint in a hotel room in Paris during fashion week.
The Dallas Cowboys got a win Sunday. They faced off against the San Francisco 49ers in a matchup that felt like it would have been way cooler 20 years ago. Alas, we’ve now got Dak Prescott vs. Blaine Gabbert instead of say, Troy Aikman vs. Steve Young. Anyway, internally Dallas is struggling. Wide receiver Dez Bryant didn’t play because of a hurt knee, an injury that owner Jerry Jones questioned slightly over the course of the week. Now, ESPN’s Adam Schefter is reporting that Bryant has a serious behavioral problem.
Coffee Break: Every week it seems now, another person gets shot and killed by the police. They are often unarmed, and it occurs all over the country. The latest happened over the weekend in Los Angeles, where a kid was issued a death sentence over a stolen car.
Snack Time: I don’t like it when comedians fight. Sure, it may offer up good content for all involved, but sometimes it feels gratuitous. But, you have to feel for Dave Chappelle, who feels like Key & Peele stole his entire show concept.
Dessert: The homey Sonny Digital has a new EP out, and we like it a lot.