Isaiah Rashad wants you to know it gets better

It’s probably not journalistically professional to say this, but I’ve been praying for Isaiah Rashad.

Not just a one-time prayer, either. I’ve been saying little silent prayers off and on over the years, ever since I heard him talk about self-harm, addiction, and his hopes of making it past 25 on his 2014 debut album Cilvia Demo.

The project remains one of the great rap debuts of the 21st century for its raw vulnerability, homages to the Southern culture that raised the Chattanooga, Tennessee, native, and the emotive delivery of every bar.

Since then, Rashad has become one of rap’s most consistent acts, even if his personal life has been anything but. The TDE artist has been in and out of rehab, battling addiction and depression while still producing beautiful art.

Rashad, though, is calculated in his vulnerability. His albums are full of non sequiturs and coded language even as he invites us into his personal life. He’s always in control, giving us just enough to feel like we know him while keeping the rest close to the vest.

That all changed in 2022, when a leaked video outed him for engaging in sex acts with men. Suddenly, Rashad wasn’t in control. His personal life was exposed in a genre of music deeply rooted in masculinity and, yes, misogyny. Now, he was entering uncharted waters: a beloved MC navigating a career built on hyper-masculine bravado and misogynistic lyrics after being forcibly outed. Rashad identifies as bisexual, he said earlier this year.

Thus arrives It’s Been Awful, his first album since the tape leaked. The album is packed with Rashad’s most direct lyrics yet, reflecting on his childhood and generational trauma. And yet, almost in spite of itself, the album offers affirmation and promises of a better life — if not for him, then at least for us.

Just listen to “Do I Look High?”

I hope somebody doing better than they was last time that I seen ’em

I hope you still dreaming

This is why Rashad is one of my favorite artists. He bares his soul and emotes through every line, taking us to the darkest recesses of his writing but always finding a way to leave us with hope that comes from the inner workings of his spirit.

So when he announced his Lil Sunny’s Awful Road Trip tour this summer, I had to go to Los Angeles to see him work. What I witnessed was a man who’s more sober than he’s been in ages, more sure of himself, and ready to fully embrace the performance aspect of his work.

After a few rehearsals for his show, I sat with Rashad to discuss this new chapter — what it means to forgive, to be forgiven, and to find new truth in his art. This is Isaiah Rashad at his truest.

It’s been awful. But it gets better.