Kevin Durant’s options outside of the NBA
Forget OKC and the Dubs, KD should join these squads instead
Kevin Durant has nearly broken the internet with questions of what move — or non-move — the star is going to make as a free agent.
Here’s what we know:
Chris Broussard and Marc Stein reported that KD will meet with the Oklahoma City Thunder and then entertain the Golden State Warriors, Los Angeles Clippers, San Antonio Spurs, Boston Celtics and Miami Heat in New York. Then a “close friend” of Durant’s said that there’s a “90 percent chance” he goes back to the Thunder for another year.
While folks stress over this rumor or that rumor or the possibility that he may actually return to the Thunder, we have a better idea of where the small forward should actually take his talents.
1. TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES
KD should join forces with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, although people have always associated them with Russell Westbrook. Can you say plot twist? Durant should replace Raphael in the TMNT starting lineup, adding some much-needed height to the group.
Our crystal ball estimates he has about a 25 percent chance of sticking with TMNT, that is, of course, until he has to do battle with Splinter, and his ability to posterize him won’t make the villain go away.
2. SEAL TEAM SIX
Forget trying to bring the Washington, D.C., native back home to the Washington Wizards. Let’s just send him to go save the world. KD has the strength to join the special forces, but we’re afraid Mama Durant might come for us if we send her boy into life-threatening situations.
3. THE AVENGERS
We already know that Marvel is getting a little more color added to its roster. With Falcon and Black Panther already in the mix, the crew could use another black man on board. Why not add KD to the squad? With the Hulk being MIA, they need a new big man to team up with Ant Man.
4. FANTASTIC FOUR
The low-hanging fruit here is that Durant would replace Mr. Fantastic on the Fantastic Four, and we’re not above – bad pun absolutely intended – going for said fruit. That’s such an easy fix in the lineup for the Fantastic Four, and Durant, besides being way more athletic, is far cooler than Mr. Fantastic. Villains don’t want no problems with the big fella.
5. THE INCREDIBLES
Instead of switching in KD for Mrs. Incredible — because we’re completely against breaking up a happy, stable family — Durant is going to tag in for Frozone. And since KD is leaving the comforts of an NBA setup, where everyone washed, pressed and hung up his uniform, he’d better get used to asking where his super suit is.
ALTERNATE MOVES: KD could fill Skip Bayless’ shoes on ESPN’s First Take. Don’t tell us a Stephen A. Smith-Durant morning segment wouldn’t be wildly entertaining.